Thursday, March 23, 2006

By Tube from Edgware to Shanklin, IoW

The Department of Constitutional Affronts is currently giving serious consideration to an exciting proposal to extend the London Underground network and bring it within reach of a whole new group of potential customers.

The plan calls for a new route southwards from Morden, the Northern line's present southern terminus, with several intermediate stations en route - including access platforms for all four of the Solent's historic defensive sea-forts. Although some commentators have questioned the need for a new route through Hampshire, advocates point out that it will be underground and hence they will never know it's there except when they are in the basement and a train goes past.

The idea of linking the Isle of Wight (IoW)'s Island Line, which uses second-hand Northern Line underground stock for all its services, has been considered in the past. It was rejected on the grounds that fossilised dinosaur remains, which are particularly dense in the chalk marl of the Solent, would blunt the teeth of the Tunnel Boring Machines (TBMs). A new, more rational proposal abandons the central tenet of underground lines - their sub-surface nature - and instead relies on supporting the tube trains on a cusion of air as they cross the water. The trains would dive back under the comforting earth after making landfall to the east of the Portsmouth seafront.

The proposal has gained widespread support from transport advocates, who point out that the frequency of train services between Portsmouth and Ryde has dropped off sharply since the last train ferry left in the 1950s.

Based on their experience with the conventional Ryde-Portsmouth Hovercraft service, engineers are confident that the scheme could get off the ground; their concerns centre around the need to keep the electrified third rail away from shipping, particularly small sailing craft whose crews may not be familiar with the danger posed by a 600V, 500A-carrying bare conductor rail just inches from the surface of the salt water.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Followup suggestions for Pink Floyd

Some fans perhaps feel that Pink Floyd haven't really followed up their masterpiece 'The Division Bell'. This condition might have been brought about by lexical reticence, so I'd like to lend them a hand they do not need by proposing the following titles:
  • The Multiplication Whistle
  • The Subtraction Kazoo
Logical operators out there will be able to come up with further suggestions. Although these have taken me twelve years.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Thoughts on the MacBook Pro

  • The optical drive is very fussy about the cleanliness of CDs. This is only a problem if you have such arcane habits as buying second hand CDs or you don't treat each CD you touch as if it's unique, rather than one from a run of a thousand, or ten thousand, or more. The five-year-old PowerBook (with CD/DVDROM) that this particular MBP replaces is happy to read such CDs.
  • The power supply connector's magnet is on the body of the machine, not the plug. So putting the PSU down on a pile of iron filings shouldn't be a problem, but don't do the same with the machine itself if the PSU isn't connected. And don't go using the machine's power socket to search for iron filings either.

Press progress

The Arab* is in fine fettle at the moment, requiring only five minutes with an oil can and a little attention from a spanner before each use. The spanner (if it will fit on the nuts) is needed to make sure everything's done up nice and tight so it'll run true. Such attention makes all the difference to the performance of the machine and as such it's very gratifying to do.

The last two jobs were carried out by Toby Bryans with a small amount of supervision from me, mostly on matters of spacing. The first of the two jobs was his change of address card. The second job was the same again, but with the correct post code. Just goes to show you should never be too hasty when dissing a job back into the cases.

These two jobs were the quickest turned around and easiest to set up so far; I think this means that that the bed of the press, so troublesome to align, is now close to being properly parallel with the platen.

*printing press, not person. I would never try, and never condone, fitting a spanner to the nuts of any living thing.

TCO